Tinned Fish

LIST OF ALL THE TYPES OF TINNED FISH I'VE EATEN RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST WITH RATING OUT OF 10

1. Tesco Finest Hot Smoked Mackerel in Harissa Sauce (9/10)
2. Minerva Sardinhas em Azeite com Aroma de Fumo (8/10)
3. AtiManel Garfish in Spiced Olive Oil (8/10)
4. Tesco Finest Hot Smoked Mackerel (8/10)
5. Tesco Mackerel in Spicy Hot Sauce (8/10)
6. JOSE Gourmet Stuffed Squid in Ink (8/10)
7. The Pilchard Works Cornish Pilchard Fillets in Rich Tomato Sauce (8/10 *really pretty tin)
8. Carrefour Extra Salmón en Aceite de Oliva, 23,1% Sabor Ahumado (sin Piel, sin Espinas) (7/10)
9. Tesco Finest Cornish Sardines in a Rich Tomato, Olive and Caper Sauce (7/10)
10. Ramirez Atum Com Feijão Frado (7/10)
11. Tesco Salmon in Sweet Chilli Sauce (7/10)
12. Glenryck Pilchards in Tomato Sauce (7/10)
13. Atimanel Garfish in Olive Oil (7/10)
14. Connétable Sardines á l'Huile d'Arachide (7/10)
15. Le Phare du Cap Bon Petites Sardines de Méditerranée àla Harissa (7/10 *really superb tin)
16. Waitrose Sweet Cured Mackerel (7/10)
17. Tesco Mackerel in Sunflower Oil (7/10)
18. Ramirez Baccalao con Garbanzos en Aceite de Oliva Virgen Extra (7/10)
19. Galicia Mejillones en Escabeche (7/10)
20. DANI Filets de Caballa del sur en Aceite de Girsal (7/10)
21. Waitrose Sardines with Chilli (6/10)
22. ALVA Pâté de Sardine (6/10)
23. Prince Pacific Red Salmon (6/10)
24. Saupiquet Filets de Sardines (avec) Citron et Basilic Sans Hilde (6/10)
25. Minerva Fillets de Salmão em azeite (6/10)
26. Minerva Pasta de Cavala (6/10)
27. CAPTAIN BYRY Polpa di Granchio del Pacifico al Naturale (6/10)
28. Tesco Salmon in a Zesty Lemon and Dill Sauce (6/10)
29. TUNO Thai Sweet Chilli Fish Free Tuna (6/10)
30. John West Herring in Tomato Sauce (6/10)
31. John West Smoked Herring Fillets in Sunflower Oil (6/10)
32. Tesco Finest Hot Smoked Mackerel With Black Pepper (6/10)
33. Minerva Sardinhas em Azeite Picante com Pickles (6/10)
34. Tesco Mackerel With Oil, Pepper and Olive (6/10)
35. John West Sardines in Tomato Sauce (6/10)
36. Ramirez Bacalhou com Azeite e Alho (6/10)
37. Princes Mackerel Fillets in Hot Chilli Dressing (6/10)
38. John West Specialities Smoked Oysters in Sunflower Oil (5/10)
39. Actassio Irish Atlantic Canned Fish Beechwood Smoked Irish Peppered Mackerel Fillets (5/10)
40. Eridanous Greek Style Smoked Tuna in Vegetable Oil With Lemon and Oregano (5/10)
41. King Oscar's "Mediterranean Style" Sardines (with red pepper, olives in olive oil). (5/10)
42. Ramirez Atum Com Grão (5/10)
43. Princes Mackerel Fillets in Mustard Sauce (5/10)
44. Sainsbury's Mackerel Fillets in Olive Oil (5/10)
45. DANI Surimi en Forma de Angulas al Ajillo (5/10)
46. John West Sardines in Sunflower Oil (5/10)
47. Tesco Salmon in Teriyaki Sauce (5/10)
48. Tesco Mackerel in Spicy Tomato Sauce (5/10)
49. Tesco Mackerel in Tomato Sauce (5/10)
50. Nixe Herring in Tomato Sauce With Red Bell Pepper (5/10)
51. Tesco Sardines in Tomato Sauce (5/10)
52. Brunswick Canadian Style Sardines with Hot Peppers in Soya Oil (5/10)
53. Leaderprice Salmon (5/10)
54. Nixe Herring Fillets in a Pepper Sauce (4/10)
55. Nixe Smoked Herring Fillets in Canola Oil (4/10)
56. Tesco Mackerel With Lemon, Salt and Black Pepper (4/10)
57. King Oscar's Sardines in Tomato Sauce (4/10)
58. Nixe Smoked Herring Peppered in Brine (4/10)
59. Tesco Finest Sardine With Coriander and Lime (4/10)
60. TUNO Mayo Fish Free Tuna and Mayo (4/10)
61. John West Sardines in Olive Oil (4/10)
62. Tesco Sardines in Sunflower Oil (4/10)
63. Nixe Fried Herring Fillets in Brine (With Fried Onion) (3/10)
64. Tesco Mackerel in Katsu Curry Sauce (3/10)
65. Nixe Sardine in Tomato Sauce (3/10)
66. Tesco Mackerel in Brine (2/10)
67. Nixe Mackerel in Tomato Sauce (2/10)
68. John West Sardines in Brine (2/10)
69. Carrefour Extra Colin d'Alaska au Naturel sans Aretes (2/10)
70. John West Mackerel Fillets in Tomato Sauce (2/10)
71. John West Sild in Sunflower Oil (-1/10)
72. DANI Gambas al Ajillo (-2/10)

AN EXPLANATION OF HOW I CAME TO BE INVOLVED WITH TINNED FISH

I first became aware of tinned fish when my dad made sardine and cheese toasties. My dad only enjoys tinned sardines in tomato sauce. My uncle would buy him artisan tinned fish (for Christmas or birthdays), my dad would eat these slowly. Dad's cupboard was always full of tinned sardines.

Many years before I ate tinned fish I began a process of making myself comfortable with the idea and practice of eating any food I came across. It was this desire to be free of food-stigma that motivated me to ask Logan if I could try some of his John West sardine in sunflower oil. We were on top of a hill on Achill Island. Logan always says "I never imagined the gateway I was opening when I gave you that sardine", or something near enough in meaning.

The very same day I bought my first tin of sardines.

Coincidentally, at this time I was interested in supermarkets. I love being in supermarkets, I love browsing supermarket shelves and seeing all the varieties of things for sale. I like to know how much it costs; how many calories each food item contains; how much protein or fibre they contain. I have actually amassed a fairly robust knowledge of different food costs and qualities; I specialise in tinned foods (and even more specifically: chickpeas, rice pudding and tinned fish).

My product obsession drove me to buy every type of sardine available in Tesco; then every type of mackerel; then I moved on to niche fish (herring, foreign brands, etcetera). I became known (amongst friends) as somewhat tinned fish obsessed.

Accidentally, or perhaps through the suggestion of a friend, I discovered that Portugal has shops dedicated exclusively to the sale of tinned fish. I went in search of them and was not disappointed! Spanish supermarkets (to my surprise and delight) also held huge quantities of tinned seafood, not just fish but mussels; cockles; prawns and so on.

The idea for ranking the fish I have eaten came to me during a decidedly uninteresting lecture. At that time I had only eaten 18 unique types of tinned fish, at the time of writing I have eaten almost 50. Initially the ranking method was based purely on intuition, I could recall all the fish I had eaten and when I had eaten it. More recently I have begun struggling to even remember the taste of some of the fish I have eaten. For this reason I have introduced a ranking system (out of 10), as this allows for an enduring measure of the fish's worth. I am tempted to add notes on the utility and taste of the fish, but this is a daunting undertaking.

Determining the value of a fish means considering: flavour, texture, practicality and tin design. Flavour is of the utmost importance, though a bad texture will probably ruin a good flavour. I like to eat my tinned fish in the wilderness or the street (as well as at home), so excess sauce or oil can be a nuisance without access to bread (or any grain based carbohydrate). Practicality also refers to how filling the fish is (I like to feel sustained); generally speaking a higher protein content means a more filling fish. My current favourite fish (Tesco Hot Smoked Mackerel in Harissa Sauce) has a relatively low protein content, but I enjoy it because the flavour, texture and tin design are all of the highest standard.

The context in which a fish is consumed is also important. Even my favourite fish can become sickening if eaten in the wrong state of mind. John West Sild in Sunflower Oil (my least favourite tinned fish, for a long time) made me feel incredibly ill after I consumed it with scrambled eggs. It is perhaps a poor choice in cooking, bust rest assured: I will never consume sild again.

These statements are all made to provide some idea of the (perhaps) arbitray and intuitively guided process that determines the ranking of a fish.

Please use my rankings wisely.

24/06/22